We’ve all been there: You just can’t tell us anything. “Don’t spend that much,” or “Don’t take that job,” or “Don’t date that person.”
“Don’t touch that stove.”
Why? Because we’ll get burnt.
But we do it anyway. Why? Because we know better, we’re smarter, you’re dumber, we know people—the rationalizations go on and on. And we really believe them. Why?
Because we’re blind.
The problem with mental/emotional/spiritual blindness is that we don’t know we’re blind. We throttle forward, ignoring caution signs and stop signs and even rules or laws and then we hit the Big Wall. We crash. We burn. We take others down with us. And then we can’t figure out why.
So—why? Why do we do it?
Because we want what we want. We want that too-expensive house or car or wardrobe and so we go into debt to get it. We want that job because it it’s “fun” or it pays well or we get to travel. But we ignore the fact that maybe the “fun” puts us around bad influences or it pays well because it requires a certain, shall we say, talent for compromise or yes, we get to travel but we have to leave the fam home alone for half the year. We want to date that really hot guy or girl because, well—who wouldn’t? But then we find out we’re actually not immune to their rep for shredding hearts. But, hey—we got what we wanted. Right?
Over the years, I’ve had my share of “what-in-the-heck-was-I-thinking??” moments. But looking back, I wasn’t thinking about anything except what I wanted. And why? Because I would be the one to make it work, to get that “thing” without any consequences, to beat the odds. I’m that good.
And if we look around, it’s everywhere. I see it with students making (very) poor choices, public figures saying things that make absolutely zero sense, and others violating spiritual or legal laws and yet still thinking something good could possibly happen.
So how do we keep from falling into the dark pit of ignorance, wreck and ruin? There are a few things…
Thing #1: Listen to people who’ve “been there, done that.” There’s nothing more painful than watching someone you care about dancing merrily down a perilous path that you know from sad experience ends in devastation—and you can’t do thing one about it. So—if someone’s trying to tell us “don’t go there,” would it kill us at least to consider that they might possibly know what they’re talking about? Will we actually die if we at least hear them out? No.
Listening has never been proven fatal.
Thing #2: Look at who you’re listening to. If the advice you’re getting is coming from people with a good track record, then follow it. But if the advice you’re getting is coming from people who have not been especially wise with their own choices, then the better part of wisdom: “RUN!” The only exception to that rule would be people who’ve “been there, done that” and learned from it. (See above.) To follow the advice of others who’ve never made any good decisions themselves and yet still stand by them has a name—it’s called “the blind leading the blind.”
Thing #3: Check for Biblical principal. I know, I know—it sounds absolutely insane to suggest that there might possibly be something relevant in a book full of stuff that happened 2000+ years ago. But you’d be surprised to find that some principles never change, no matter how many blind people tell us they don’t apply anymore.
“You reap what you sow” (Gal.6:7) comes to mind. (“You harvest what you plant,” “What goes around, comes around,” karma, etc.… You know the drill.) But some people act like they can do something harmful or stupid and something good will come from it. (I know—been there, done that.)
“What a man thinks in his heart, so is he…” (Prov. 23:7). (What a person thinks about, they become.) Can we spend our days filling our minds and hearts with the stupid, the silly, the evil and not begin to think, at some point, that those things are okay? And then begin to imitate them? Short answer—no. (If you disagree, re-visit sowing and reaping.)
“’Seek first the kingdom of God [His will and principles] and His righteousness, and [then] all these things [your heart’s desires] will be given to you’” (Matt.6:33 ). Bottom line: If we’re not asking God what He thinks about our decisions (hint: before we make them), then we can’t expect that He’ll bless what He doesn’t want us doing. That’s not hard to understand, right? You’d think. But I didn’t get it for a long time. Or wait—I did get it; I just didn’t want to do it. What if God didn’t want what I wanted? So dumb.
We’ve all made stupid decisions but one of the dumbest is to refuse to listen to sources of good advice. That mindset is the #1 destroyer of destiny because it affects every other decision we make. The best thing we can do for our dreams and visions is to evaluate the “wisdom” we’ve been following and to consider its consequences.
“Beware that the light you think you have is not really darkness” (Luke 11:35).